“ *** KIT’S BIRTH STORY***
In a nutshell
It was awesome… perfect… amazing… calm… informed… beautiful… hypnobirth… at home… in water…
The full story has more detail! Read on if you wish!
In attendance:
Sarah (mother) Chris (father) Mel Elliston (Doula) Hayley (friend & 3rd year midwife student) Glynis Bland (birth photographer) Lynn, Amy & Faith (midwives)
Having had two children already, with one horrific, traumatising, hospital, non-consenting intervention birth and one beautiful, amazing, hard fought for, well researched, perfect home water hypno birth, I was very excited about this one! Especially knowing it would be my third and last baby.
All my fears had been worked through with my previous birth and I was left with a calm confidence and imminent excitement. Personally, one of the biggest things for me in driving confidence in birth is hypno birthing. Having done a full course before the birth of my second, it was one of the first things I was keen to get myself booked into. That and securing my Doula.
Chris, my husband, and I had a refresher hypnobirthing course with Janet Naylor, who is an amazing and passionate practitioner. And we asked Mel to be my amazing, calming and protective Doula again (she helped with my second birth).
I spent the months leading up to the birth practicing my hypno birthing relaxations, visualisations, breathing and scripts most days and every night. I was so lucky to have already released all my fears with birth #2 and could really relax and enjoy this pregnancy, safe in the knowledge and experience that my body had already done this so beautifully before. It really was an exciting time, and I already truly trusted my birthing body.
On Saturday night, I woke up at midnight with mild period pains, which were coming every 5 minutes. This was it! Or so I thought! I woke Chris up, and got our lovely Doula, Mel, over straight away… When birthing my second baby, things were done and dusted from beginning to end within 3 hours! The midwife didn’t make it in time and baby was caught by Chris, much to our shock!
However, every birth is different, and although I visualised that it would be almost exactly the same as last time, baby knows best and things fizzled out by 4am. Mel went home and I was left hopeful that things would pick up again on Sunday night… which they didn’t!
I woke on Monday 15th October, feeling heavy and with period pains. I was excited! I asked Chris to take the kids to school as didn’t want to be too far from home at any point. 30 second tightenings, every 5 minutes! Was this it!? It seemed strange to me to be labouring by daylight, as that’s not how I imagined it would be.
Again, due to my previous birth experience, I was utterly convinced this baby would be born in no time… so I called our Doula Mel over straight away, and when Chris came home he called the various interested parties (midwife, birth photographer, student midwife friend).
At this stage, I wished to stay alone in my dimly lit, little hypno world. Snuggled down in bed, with “River Dawn” relaxing music quietly playing, and my Bergamot and Lavender aromotheraphy diffuser breathing a beautiful scent into the room.
Things were easy. Calm. Totally relaxed. I was mostly snoozing or sleeping. The contractions were mild and very easy to breath straight through. And very regular… still 5 minutes for 30 seconds.
After an hour or so I became a little concerned about wasting people’s time… I had a house full of people downstairs, all waiting on me to pick things up and get cracking on this birth! I didn’t want to feel this pressure and considered sending everyone home… What if things fizzled out like on Saturday night? What if things didn’t pick up for another 2 weeks!? However, after talking everything through, and being reassured that I wasn’t wasting anyone’s time, they all stayed and I went back to sleep!
At some point, Chris arranged for a good friend to pick up the kids from school, and for them to have a sleepover, so we were free to concentrate solely on the birth.
Hours of calm, dark, relaxing time went past… At about 4.30pm, I’d had enough! I was basically bored, and impatient! I was so desperate for things to get going, so excited at the prospect of the birth. And yet nothing really seemed to be happening, even though I’m sure it was. I was just finding it difficult to accept that this birth was different!
After a really good chat with Mel, and a healthy cry to get all these emotions out of my system, I got my head in gear. This birth wasn’t my last birth. I accepted that I had to go with the flow of this. Accept it for what it was and embrace it. And, although a completely quiet, dark room, in my own world worked last time, this time was different.
I’ll remember Mel’s words… If you want something different to happen, let’s do something different. So, I got up. We made a plan. I do like a good plan! Turned on a few lights. Chatted to my student midwife friend, Hayley, who made me laugh. Hugged my husband. Took a shower. Put some clothes on. Went downstairs. Had a small pasta dinner. Changed my music to a bit more upbeat. Moved around. And the big turning point… went for a walk outside.
I knew throughout this that I could access my hypno “zone” any time I wanted. I didn’t have to be in it all the time. Just the times when it needed to count!
Fresh air, a small hill and having a laugh and a joke with Chris and my friend. And it did the trick. At about 6pm, my contractions got stronger. Definitely, and almost immediately. The frequency picked up too. They were still fine, I coped with them by using my hypno techniques, but I knew they were ramping up. We came back home and I sat on the birth ball, keeping the movement going.
Mel popped in at one point and suggested I meet the new midwife, Lynn, as they were in the process of handing over. She said that she would be here when the baby was born, to which I still didn’t believe this baby was on its way, and I said to her “oh, so do you think I’m going to have the baby today?” which made us all giggle a bit! Everyone else believed this baby was coming, but I was still kind of thinking it was going to take forever!
I soon started to have to be on the floor to be able to relax and breath through it. It worked. After a while, I just looked at Chris and said “heck, shall we just watch some telly?” We were halfway through a pretty intense BBC thriller and I was keen to watch the next episode, so why not pass the time!?! This is not at all how I had imagined this birth to be, but it felt right at the time and it was a normal evening, relaxing thing for us to do. So we did it!
Chris paused the telly whilst I breathed through each contraction, until, at 8.20pm, mid contraction, I heard and felt an enormous pop as my waters spectacularly broke. In a manner I can only describe as the type you’d see on TV drama! Whoooooosh!!!! Instantly I leapt two feet up and to the left, onto the rug and off the precious cream carpet!
I dashed off to the toilet to sort myself out, and instantly felt like I needed a poo! Exciting times, as I knew this was a good sign, and it was much more likely that I needed a baby than a poo! With the waters breaking so spectacularly, I think the head just dropped slap bang down and instantly it was all guns blazing! The waters did have some meconium in, but not enough to warrant any kind of concern from the midwife, which kept me calm.
I called out that I wanted to get in the pool, and my amazing husband – in an instant – completely transformed the lounge into a dark, cosy space, hypno music on, lights dimmed, pool cover off and ready to go.
I slipped into the pool about 8.30pm and was straight into my hypno zone. Chris read a hypnobirthing script, to change the mood from “marginally panicked waters exploding, tv watching” to “focused, quiet and relaxed” and it was an immediate change.
I went into my own hypno world. Every contraction was super intense. I could feel the baby was very low and on its way. My breathing instinctively changed to “down” breathing, short intake and a kind of long, low, humming, deep sound to get me through.
I just let go. It’s all you can do. I let the waves come over me and just breathed my way through. Each time feeling the baby get closer and closer. I knew he was near.
My support team, were amazing. Encouraging me, saying the right things at the right time. Holding me, mopping my brow with a cold flannel. And my extended support team doing exactly the opposite, which is what I’d wanted – complete silence. The midwife never said a word during the whole second stage. And I wasn’t even aware that my student midwife friend or birth photographer were even in the room!! That’s what birth plans are for!
After just a couple of contractions in the pool, I felt, and was sick. Awesome! I knew what this meant and I knew birth was imminent! So close now. But such hard work and concentration required to relax and breath through.
A few more contractions passed, each one stronger and so incredibly intense. So hard to get through. For just a fleeting second, I wondered whether I could do this. Apparently, I looked up and said “I’m having a moment of doubt”!! Hahaha! All those around me also knew this meant birth was getting super close. Transition had definitely happened!
In my zone, riding the intense waves. Then, I knew. I said “it’s coming” and Chris jumped in the pool. Then I said “no it’s not”. Then I said “yes it is!” I felt the crazy, indescribable moment of the head crowning, but it didn’t all come out at once, hence my hesitation! A moment after half the head had come out, the second half of the head emerged and the contraction stopped.
That minute of surreal limbo, with half a human in and out of the world, felt so bizarre. But only lasted for a short while until the next contraction came and the feeling of twisting and gushing and finally he was born.
Chris caught him as I rolled onto my back and he was passed to me. My first thoughts were of sheer and utter relief! My head thrown back, my shoulders totally relaxed and a massive sigh of “aaaaaaahhhhh it’s over, he’s here!” I’d only gone and bloody well done it! Again!
Just perfect. And although completely different to my perfect second birth, it was still a perfect birth, in every way.
We had cuddles in the pool and he latched on. A few more contractions and the placenta had happily come away on its own. After about half an hour in the pool of enjoying this special time, I stood up and the placenta came out. We had a little look and everyone marvelled at just how amazing the cord was. So thick that when we did eventually cut it, it required two clamps it was that big and strong!
I got out the pool and got straight onto the sofa with a cup of tea! The joys of birthing at home! Chris had some nice Daddy skin to skin with the baby and I was checked over. No stitches required!
Unbeknownst to me, Glynis, our birth photographer, had been called and made it in the nick of time to take some beautiful photographs of the birth, in the pool and afterwards. Beautiful photos and powerful memories that will last a lifetime. Plus, my friend Hayley, managed to capture the actual birth on video. It’s very interesting to look back on it from an outsiders point of view! Thanks dearly to both.
The baby was weighed – 8lb 12ozs – and checked over and returned to me, skin to skin. He’d already been feeding well. The midwives filled out their paperwork, stating that labour had lasted 3 hours 18 minutes, from 6pm until he was born at 9.18pm, and they left about midnight.
We said thanks and goodbye to Glynis and Hayley, then Mel helped us upstairs to bed, to snuggle down for our very first night with the utterly gorgeously perfect, Baby Kit ”